First we found the Go Watch which tell you to do all sorts of crazy things, including ‘Go Love’, and then we crossed the Alcatel stand to find the Xess tablet. It’s pronounced ‘excess’ and that pretty much sums up the device. Also see: Best new tablets coming in 2016. See also: Acer Predator 8 review. It’s not like we’ve never seen a tablet designed for around the home but this one is a little more out there than the others – and hasn’t pushed us any close to agreeing that they are a worthwhile category of device. The Xess has a huge 17.3in Full HD screen so it’s bigger than even a full-size laptop. Furthermore it weighs a whopping 2.55kg so it’s almost certainly heavier than a laptop you have or might have around the house. This means you’ll need to make use of the pop-out handle when moving it from room to room. At this weight you won’t even want it on your lap which largely defeats the point of tablet opposed to a laptop. You’ll have to find a flat surface to rest it on instead and a good element to the design is an adjustable kick-stand so you can easily set the angle of the screen. See also: Lenovo Yoga Tab 3 Pro 10 hands on review. Inside the Xess is a 1.5Ghz 64-bit octa-core processor and 2GB of RAM but we found performance to be, let’s not beat around the bush, atrocious. However, the firm is fully aware of this issue and a spokesperson ensured us that an alternative will be found before launch. There’s a reasonable 32GB of internal storage, a Micro-SD card slot for adding up to 64GB more and some ports you don’t normally find on an Android tablet: two USB 2.0 ports to be precise which may come in handy. Alcatel provides a small magnetic stylus with the Xess and despite a large 10,000mAh battery the tablet will only last three hours if used for video playback. Normal usages will be between five and seven hours, according to Alcatel. We don’t have a price for the Alcatel OneTouch Xess yet but it will launch in China later this year followed by the US early in 2016. We’re told it will come to Europe mid-2016 but whether this includes the UK is anyone’s guess at the moment. Tech Advisor’s Reviews Editor, Chris has been reviewing all kinds of tech for over 10 years and specialises in audio. He also covers a range of topics including home entertainment, phones, laptops, tablets and more.